I was on my bed, bleeding profusely, my blood all over the floor!
At this moment, I made a decision that would affect the rest of my life…..
I decided to create my own world, my own standards, my own ideas, and I
would be the supreme ruler in this world, all would heed to my command,
all would obey or die!
Ever since, I have lived an extremely happy life, even if it was not perfect, it was still mine.
I decided to only please myself and to only live by my standards.
I made my own rules, and ever since I have felt invulnereable, immune
to all the "problems" of life. Sometimes I feel like an undead, like a
vampire living amongst mortals.
I feel like I am a different species to all around me, they will never
understand me, I really don’t want to understand them cause they are
like mountains and trees to me, part of the landscape, but only
something I see, I decide when to here them and when to press the mut
button, which is ususally what I do .
Being a vampire ofcourse has it’s drawbacks, but the advantages far outwiegh them.
Being the creator of my own world, I can make my surroundings appear and dissapear at will.
My theory so far, is not to regret, but always to evaluate and strive to fix what i want to be fixed.
The most difficult person to please is the only person who’s opinion I care about …. me.
Being a perfectioninst, I find great satisfaction in climbing my
mountains, but whenever I get to the top, there is always another peak
waiting for me, and I can never resist climbing the next peak…….
My only problem so far is I know I will never fully live up to my
dreams, but dreams are my only reason for continuing to live in this
unperfect life, cause I am unperfect, and will always remain so.
What really makes me go on , is the challenge of climbing the next peak , and the dream of getting to the top……
But knowing that the sky os the limit, I know that I will never get there.
However, just the challenge gives meaning to life.
Another rule is to never be discouraged, I know that if u keep at it, u
will get closer and closer, maybe like in calculus, u will never reach
the point u aim to, but the more u try the closer u will be.
To know this and to be content and keep trying makes u an instoppable
force, cause as I said before u can never be beaten, unless u decide to
raise the white flag.
So I burnt my white flag and decided to always lock the door to the easy way out.
so lets see where this takes me in life, lets see if i can keep
following my rules, lets see if I can be stoppedand what it would take
to stop me.
Thats it for now, back to sipping my juice……