The MATRIX

I am sure almost everyone has seen this movie. I am also sure, that each and every one of us, knows, feels that we are living in our own matrices.

 

So what is this Matrix? What Matrix are we living in?

 

Well, my humble opinion on that is that we each live in a world that we create for ourselves. Some of us are content to live in a world created by others (the sheep), others live in the oppressive world hoping to one day break free (the dog),  some create worlds for others to live in (the shepherd) and others actually break free and face the music (the wolf).

 

If you don’t have a clue what I am talking about, please review my previous post

	13 April 5:18 PM
The fine line between being a genuis and being crazy

 

 

I am not going to get into a boring and long detailed discussion of "society as an oppressor", or "Arab society vs Western society", cause frankly I don’t really think much of any society. They are all forms of oppression and hypocrisy where one "ideal" or "way of life" is imposed on everybody and those who do not comply or oppose are either deemed "morally inferior" or "terrorists".

 

I am not the first to think this way ofcourse, since we have "The Matrix", we also had "The Scarlett Letter" and "The Crucible" and Byron.

 

I guess this idea has been in the human conscienceness for millenia.

 

I hear people saying "So what’s your alternative?", to those I say: It’s just a cylce of evolution and revolution. Evolving ideas and revolting against them, we should deny ourselves neither in our eternal quest for knowledge and enlightment.

 

It should be matrices multiplying, banging against each other, chaos then order the chaos. That is the eternal equation of the world, it will always be like this wether we choose to see it or not.

 

I hope any of this will make sense to someone one day as much as it does to me.   

The monk on the mountain

The monk stares into the horizon. All he can see is air, clouds, that grey line between heaven and earth. The meeting point between the physical and metaphysical.

 

He wonders, why the world seem so small in the valleys below, why is it here that he feels most powerful?

 

He just got back from the valley, not victorious, not defeated by others, it was he who declared his own defeat.

 

Sitting there contemplating the events of before, revising strategy, learning, imagining.

 

The question is not is he ready for the world?, but is the world ready for him?

 

The fine line between being a genuis and being crazy

So what the hell is a genuis anyway?

Mostly, he is just a crazy person who has somehow found recognition for his/her crazy ideas.

 

Given a choice, I’d rather be crazy than be a genuis anyday.

 

Somehow your thoughts only stay pure when it is only you who belive in them.

 

But what do I care what others think. They are sheep living in a big white flock.

 

 

A friend told me "would u rather be a sheep, or a  rabid dog running around the flock?"

 

I think I would rather be the dog.

 

It’s not about wether the dog is a good thing or not.

 

It’s that I’d rather die than be a sheep.

 

 

We humans are so stupid with our fears and insecurities. What’s the worst that can happen to us? Death?

 

I have never feared death, it’s just a transition from living in a very petty and silly world to another with new rules and new possibilities.

 

 

I hope one day I can be the Wolf, even when I am villified, at least I will be thinking for myslef.

 

Now I am just the dog hoping to turn into a wolf. 🙂

 

 

Changes, Changes, Changes.

As you can see from this title, it is all about changes. If you are interested in the animal kingdom you will notice that the more adaptable a species is the more likely it is to survive.

 

The change I mean here is really a metaphoric change, an Ideological change or a technical change in the way we do things.

 

My values have never changed, but my ideology certainly has gone through a period of revision where some old ideas were changed, others were cemented in my brain.

 

Unfortunatley in life change is not always elegant so sometimes it happens fatser than we like it to, sometimes it never happens fast enough.

 

I have always tried to make the change quick enough and in tune with events aroound me, but I’m always learning one of life’s true lessons, you will always have the benefit of hindsight on some things and always hit urself when you look back and say "why couldn’t I have been smarter, faster, wiser….etc.".

The real solution here is just to accept mistakes made in the past and to cherich those mistakes cause u never know if in some way beyond ur understanding if things didn’t turn out better.

 

 

When change doesn’t happen fast enough, I really feel frustrated and bored, but because I never expect it from others and always from myself, I became my biggest dissapointment. But this has always helped me to learn from the past and to evolve into something more like what I had planned.

 

The truth is, being human sux…..

 

we all hate it, we all want to be more than "just human". I guess that’s why we have so many superhero’s, but the real superhero is not the one without fault but he who learns from his faults and is never afraid to face them.

 

I guess knowing this, I realize I will never live up to my standards, but at least I had the courage to have them!

 

 

My war with myself.

A while ago, I had this life changing moment….
I was on my bed, bleeding profusely, my blood all over the floor!
 At this moment, I made a decision that would affect the rest of my life…..
I decided to create my own world, my own standards, my own ideas, and I
would be the supreme ruler in this world, all would heed to my command,
all would obey or die!
Ever since, I have lived an extremely happy life, even if it was not perfect, it was still mine.

I decided to only please myself and to only live by my standards.
I made my own rules, and ever since I have felt invulnereable, immune
to all the "problems" of life. Sometimes I feel like an undead, like a
vampire living amongst mortals.
I feel like I am a different species to all around me, they will never
understand me, I really don’t want to understand them cause they are
like mountains and trees to me, part of the landscape, but only
something I see, I decide when to here them and when to press the mut
button, which is ususally what I do .

Being a vampire ofcourse has it’s drawbacks, but the advantages far outwiegh them.

Being the creator of my own world, I can make my surroundings appear and dissapear at will.

My theory so far, is not to regret, but always to evaluate and strive to fix what i want to be fixed.
The most difficult person to please is the only person who’s opinion I care about …. me.

Being a perfectioninst, I find great satisfaction in climbing my
mountains, but whenever I get to the top, there is always another peak
waiting for me, and I can never resist climbing the next peak…….

My only problem so far is I know I will never fully live up to my
dreams, but dreams are my only reason for continuing to live in this
unperfect life, cause I am unperfect, and will always remain so.
What really makes me go on , is the challenge of climbing the next peak , and the dream of getting to the top……

But knowing that the sky os the limit, I know that I will never get there.
However, just the challenge gives meaning to life.

Another rule is to never be discouraged, I know that if u keep at it, u
will get closer and closer, maybe like in calculus, u will never reach
the point u aim to, but the more u try the closer u will be.
To know this and to be content and keep trying makes u an instoppable
force, cause as I said before u can never be beaten, unless u decide to
raise the white flag.
So I burnt my white flag and decided to always lock the door to the easy way out.

so lets see where this takes me in life, lets see if i can keep
following my rules, lets see if I can be stoppedand what it would take
to stop me.

Thats it for now, back to sipping my juice……

Missing Ersh and Ceasar

Sitting here with my juice , missing my 2 best friends (Ersh and Ceasar).
These are really my only ever true friends, the ones I trust.
Ersh is a doctor, we call him ("THE LOVE DOC"). He’s a big fan of snoop
dogg, and hopefully will come to egypt soon with our pal "The CEASE"

Ceasar is sick now, Ersh will take him to the vet tommorow.
I am praying for him, cause he is really more to me than just a cat.
Ceasar has always been there for me and ersh, he has always been more faithful than any human, and has the kindest soul of all.
I would give up all the people I know gladly for this cat, and with ceasar I never feel like I need any other friends.

So peace out for now.
And if u feel what i mean, please pray for the kindest soul I have ever known.

Life is a series of battles never truly won!

Well , this is my second blog entry.

What I have to say this time is that life is like a never ending war, you can never claim complete victory no matter what you do.

Each stage in life is a battle, you have to be prepared to take risks as well as to win. You never go into a battle not expecting casualties, the main goal is to win with the least amount of damage to your army as possible.

The damage I am talking a bout can be in the form of physical as well as psychological damage, but the one casualty you can never afford to loose is your values, cause once you loose that the war is already lots.

Back to the idea of complete victory, cause this is an idea I notioce confuses many people.

When you have a goal in life , it is always like taking over a hill or a castle in battle, that is only half the way to victory, there will always be more battles to be fought to keep your positiona and always more fierce fighting to move further ahead.

I took note of this in my life whenever i reach one of my goals, there is never a cinematic happy ending, just the preparation for another battle and for more fighting, it’s like a game where you go up a level only top discover that the next level is harder than the previous.

This brings me to the idea I want to express here, victory is not a stage where you make the claim and count your points, it is a moment of reflection where you hjave to review your startegy and count your casualties. Only then will you be able to get the truly valuable lessons from your battle , and only then will you reap the true benefits of getting involved in it in the first place .

You may have noticed that I have never mentioned loss or surrender, cause I believe that you can nenver loose unless you claim defeat, your enemy cannot claim victory over you unless you surrender, so if you choose to keep going , defeat will never be an option.

Another point i’d like to make here is that it is never too late to reeavluate your startegy, wether yoy are winning or loosing, this has to take place every once in a while, the most valuable rewards come to those who learn from their mistakes.

That was my 2 cents on the topic.

 

 

Let the show begin!

Until it Sleeps

Metallica

 

Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out
There’s things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me
So hold me until it sleeps

Just like the curse, just like the stray
You feed it once and now it stays
Now it stays

So tear me open but beware
There’s things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I’m clean

It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you so hold me
Until it sleeps

So tell me why you’ve chosen me
Don’t want your grip
Don’t want your greed
Don’t want it

I’ll tear me open make you gone
No more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me
So hold me, until it sleeps

It grips you so hold me
It stains you so hold me
It hates you so hold me
It holds you, holds you, holds you until it sleeps (x4)

I Don’t want it want it want it want it want it
No

So tear me open but beware
There’s things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me ’til I’m clean

I’ll tear thee open make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shapes me
So hold me until it sleeps (x5)